Alot has happened in the past few days, friendships have been fixed and time spent with people I haven't seen; but with all that has happened I still have this feeling of uncertainty. I can't help but know that people aren't being completely honest with me. One way that I know this, is the simple fact that I can over hear them talking with others and secondly when I look them in the eye and they have this half glazed not focused look. It seems as if they want to convience me but can't look me completely in the eye. This leaves me with the simple question of whats going on, all I ask is to be completely honest with me and yet I can't help but feel they aren't.
I'm wondering what truly needs to be changed, is it the uncertainties I feel or is it the friends that I keep so close. Some of you are very good friends, don't get me wrong, but truthfully we aren't as close as we could be. So the idea behind the question is am I just letting the uncertainty take hold or are the really not being completely honest with me, am I fine where I am or should I change things. I am tired of always having these questions in my head and being reminded of my feelings all the time.
But even though I'm not certain of things at the moment I do want to say that I am thankful for the friends I do have. God has blessed me so much and I can't help but see that. Some of you have spoken with me about this subject area and I know you are being truthful and honest. What more could I ask for?I have felt so alone this past semester and many of you were there, if by facebook or in person, when I needed someone and I thank you so much.
I know things have changed so much these past couple of years, but they've changed for the better. I know that sometimes, like the previous blog, I look back and wish things hadn't changed but I know they changed for something better and I'm glad they did.
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